If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops