Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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