Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops