What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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