Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

an american walks out of a strip club.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops