Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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kkkk

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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