A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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guess what? bannanas

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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