How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Bitch

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops