What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops