what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Albert <3 Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops