Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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