whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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What's white and gluey Glue

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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