Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Granny porn!

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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1+1=2

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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If life gives you lemonade.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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