Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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