Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops