How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops