funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

How do you leave a man in suspense...

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

who just made fun of katie matt

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

What's in there? Get outta there...

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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