An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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