What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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The global news

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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