Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

In soviet Russia...things are different

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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