What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops