What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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