Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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first

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Chlamydia

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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Canadians

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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