What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...