(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ding dong Who's there Electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops