What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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