- Anti Joke

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

I like school Said no one ever.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

knock knock opens door WE DON'T WANT ANY!

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

A man had just got done with work and was driving home through the country side when his car broke down. He turned the key and the car didn’t start so he turned the key again and it didn’t work so he started walking and walking and walking... and walking and walking and walking some more. And finally he came across a farm. He knocked on the door (knock on something) he knocked again (knock on something) he knocked again and finally the door opened (make the sound of a door opening). (In old man’s voice) what can I do for you sonny. The man said that his car broke down a few miles back and asked if he could stay there for the night and call for a tow truck in the morning. (In old man’s voice) sure but under one condition the old man said. And the old man walked out to the barn opened the barn door (make the sound of a door creaking). He moved the hay bale (make a thumping noise). Under it was a trap door the man opened the trap door (make the sound of a door creaking and then a thump). Under it was moldy, old, damp, steep steps. They walked down the steps (Make the sound of steps creaking (multiple times)). They walked down the narrow corridor and walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to a giant glass door the man pushed it open (make the sound of a door creaking). They walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to an iron bared door. The man opened it (make the sound of a door creaking). Then they walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to a large open room and in the corner was a cage and in the corner of the cage was a black figure (make sure you don’t say it was an ape). The old man said (In old man’s voice) don’t touch it and so they. Then they walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to an iron bared door. The man opened it (make the sound of a door creaking). They walked and walked and walked some more. Finally they got to a giant glass door the man pushed it open (make the sound of a door creaking). They walked and walked and walked some. And finally they walked up the moldy, old, damp, steep steps. (Make the sound of steps creaking (multiple times)). He closed the trap door (make the sound of a door creaking and then a thump). He moved the hay bale (make a thumping noise). Closed the barn door (make the sound of a door creaking). Walked to the house and went to sleep. The man had a dream about touching the figure (make sure you don’t say it was an ape) and right as he touched it he woke up. He thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. He had the same dream and woke up. He went back to sleep and had the same dream and decided to go check the thing out (make sure you don’t say it was an ape). He walked out to the barn opened the barn door (make the sound of a door creaking). He moved the hay bale (make a thumping noise). Under it was a trap door the man opened the trap door (make the sound of a door creaking and then a thump). Under it was moldy, old, damp, steep steps. He walked down the steps (Make the sound of steps creaking (multiple times)). He walked down the narrow corridor and walked and walked and walked some more. Finally he got to a giant glass door the man pushed it open (make the sound of a door creaking). He walked and walked and walked some more. Finally he got to an iron bared door. The man opened it (make the sound of a door creaking). Then he walked and walked and walked some more. Finally he got to a large open room and in the corner was a cage and in the corner of the cage was the black figure (make sure you don’t say it was an ape). He goes up to it and sees that it had changed places. He studies it more closely and sees that it’s a giant ape! He’s about to touch it and says to himself no I shouldn’t touch it the man told me not to I shouldn’t do. And then he’s about to touch it and he pulls his hand back and thinks I should get out of this place when I'm not paying attention I'm going to touch it and then he feels something fuzzy on his hand and looks at it and his hand is on the ape. Then he starts to panics and thinks what have I done. But strangely nothing happens and starts to wonder about why the man told him not to touch it. And then the ape starts to stir. The man runs for it. After a minute of running he hears the cage burst open (slam in the table). He gets to the iron barred door and slams it shut (thump on something). After a few seconds of running he hears the iron barred door burst open (slam on the table) then he slams the glass door shut (thump on something) and after a while hears the glass door shatter open (slam on the table) he quickly gets to the stairs. Runs up them as fast as he could slams the trap door shut (thump on something) throws the hay bale on (thump on something) slams the barn door shut (thump on something) slams the barn door shut(thump on something) he starts running for the car and starts trying to get his key out of his pocket while he runs he get to the car fumbles his keys around to find the right one finally finds it and unlocks the door puts the keys in and turns it and nothing happens he turns the key again and nothing happens then he realizes that his car has broken down. He tries to calm down and realizes that he hadn’t heard the ape break out of the barn and must have had a very hard time getting up the small steep stairs. Then he hears these repeated thumps (thump on something (many times and get louder)and figures out that it’s the ape running then it stops all of a sudden… (thump on something as hard as you can)and then he heard this loud crash on the roof. then the ape punches through the roof and destroys the passenger seat and then rips off the roof. Picks the man up holds out his pointer finger and says (in a deep menacing voice) tag your it and runs off into the distance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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