When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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