Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops