Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops