Wait! hundred billions!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a disabled man takes a walk in a park

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops