nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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The Aristocrats

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Religion

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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