How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A boy with red hair is happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops