Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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David Cameron

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Guest what in the butt

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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A guy walks into a bar

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Women's professional sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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