What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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