What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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