What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

a blind man walks into a wall

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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