- Anti Joke

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

Two women were sitting quietly.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

whats green and lives in the water

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

Two women were sitting quietly.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

whats green and lives in the water

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

Two women were sitting quietly.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!