- Anti Joke

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

Seriosly. too much sex again?

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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