roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

Poker face

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...