Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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