What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops