If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -87

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

jgkbk,mn

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops