How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

A women left the kitchen.

Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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