How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops