How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops