Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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kathryn atkins

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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