Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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