What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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