- Anti Joke

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops