An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops