What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Obama = ebola

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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360 NO SCOPE

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops